The Urban Sherpa - a blog by Christopher DeWan

(chronic ironic...)

Read Work and Other Essays, a collection of nonfiction by Christopher DeWan.

Welcome to Middle-Class Poverty rating=2

I'm on a mad scramble to visit every doctor I can think of, every type of doctor ever invented, and I'm not even sick. I'm not even hypochondriac. OK, I might be hypochondriac — but that's not why I'm seeing the doctors. I'm changing jobs, and I'm about to lose my health insurance.

I've long been of the belief that doctors are for sick people, and therefore, if you visit the doctor, you put yourself in the category of a person who is sick. If you visit a doctor, eventually you will start to think of yourself as sick, and then, eventually, you will be sick.

Sure enough, the morning after a dentist appointment, I was laid up for two days and a half with some sudden savage flu or food poisoning. Coincidence? You decide...

I took a trip to an eye doctor, who told me that, though I'm still hopelessly blind without corrective lenses, one of my hopelessly blind eyes was imperceptably less blind than it used to be. Good news! Of course, the change will require new (and vastly more expensive) contact lenses. Hmm. What's up, Doc?

He also took the liberty of flipping my eyelid inside out. Uh, yuck!!!

That's what he said. He didn't like what he saw under there, so he wrote a prescription for some eyedrops and I went on my way.

Because I'd just plunked down a ridiculous amount of cash on my new contact lenses, I couldn't cover my $15 co-pay on the eyedrops, and I had to wait two weeks to pick them up — during which time I didn't even get to enjoy my new contacts, because I was resting my inflamed eyelids, wearing glasses...

Actual sizeWell, I'm amazed — I'm amazed — by what $15 gets you at the drug store these days. It's 5mL. There's no reason, I guess, that I would need a gallon-sized bottle of eyedrops, but for my $15, I want a gallon-sized bottle. How much Visene could I have gotten for $15? Which CD or DVD could I have bought instead? How far could I get on Long Island Railroad for $15?

So, in one way, I guess the doctor was right: I am seeing some things more clearly now. But my irritation doesn't seem to be going down, just moving from my eyes to other places....