The Urban Sherpa - a blog by Christopher DeWan

(professonal driver on closed course...)

Read Work and Other Essays, a collection of nonfiction by Christopher DeWan.

Why I Blog rating=3

Umbrella

The metaphors are all too hyperbolic, but the one that gets his attention: "It's like I was born without skin." It strikes me as trite, but it gets through to him, which was the intended effect. So I elaborate: "Sometimes I try to hold the elevator door for someone and they don't make it; the door closes. And it upsets me for the rest of the day." Really. "I consider going back for them."

Another: "The woman at the bus stop. I think of giving her my umbrella. There's a torrent of rain. She needs the umbrella at least as much as I do."

Another: "Sometimes I see a couple at a restaurant, silently reading different sections of the same paper. And I cry. I actually cry, right there at brunch."

"How does that make you feel?," he asks, like a robot.

It makes me feel like an abandoned alien waiting for the mothership.
It makes me feel like a candidate for shock therapy.
It makes me feel like I was born without skin.

"It's upsetting," I tell him.

There are people I know who say they love me and at some level I don't doubt it; but they won't ask me how I feel, because the answer—How I Feel—it's a Hudson River, a mile wide and five hundred feet deep and meandering and unstoppable; it's canyon-carving; it's tidal; and they don't want to know. They want to read about it now and then, the highlights; but they don't want to know.

That's why I blog.